Travel Tips from "The Cheese
master"10 key pieces of
advise from the Barrelhouses own roving travel guru "The Cheese master"
1) never travel with Cheesey otherwise the following may happen
Passport taken at knife point in USA
(tried to do a crocodile Dundee but pulled out a salami instead) tasted
nice...
Passport taken at knife point in Kenya
(it should be noted that Cheesey read the lonely planet once and it
recommended a place called Knife Point for its scenic beauty)
Passport stolen in Vietnam, was amazed it
was stolen as he left it in the care (on the beach) of his camera and wallet
as he was swimming, strangely enough they disappeared too, he believed they
may have drowned as none of them had arms to swim with.
Passport eaten by a horny dog in Ireland,
met her in a bar and she asked him to do the weirdest thing he could imagine
to her, I for one don't understand the turn on but whatever floats your boat
Passport Expired in Vietnam, a sad day as
it was only young, its always the innocent that get hurt, we told him it
was in passport heaven with his earlier passport/wallet and camera from the
beach.
2) When planning a trip abroad always
leave it till the last minute to get a new passport.
3) never visit an art exhibition in
Amsterdam, you will never find your way out.
4) Trips abroad should involve at least
one port of call to a lovely lady, especially if she can let you stay over,
though if you meet another girl do return the house key prior to settling
down for the night.
5) Never drink beer that has fallen from
the ceiling, unless your in Saudi.
6) Never go to Saudi
7) Remember Airlines provide stewardesses
for in flight service and hassle free relationships.
8) If you are offered the chance to
collect your multi million pound winnings from a bloke in Nigeria, don't
go...especially not a second time.
9) See 8 (or a third time)
10) Remember airplane was just a film as
was planes trains and Automobiles, regardless if you have friends that
resemble all the characters.